- It should be no secret by now how faithfully The Incredible Kicks worship at the altar of glam. I know many folks who've been dazzled, amazed by it, almost burned by the reflected glamour. They should've perhaps know better in the first place, but instead they come to their senses finding themselves saying nice things about a band that represents every piece of gold lame coat wearing, long blonde locks shaking, rhinestone encrusted wrongness with rock'n'roll. It's like waking up in Vegas, next to very used-up hooker. Well, some of them can't seem to get out of there fast enough. Not me though, I, um, love that lady of the night... and I don't mind The Incredible Kicks either (sorry). Their latest EP, Ineffective Lullabies, is everything you've come to expect from The Kicks and maybe a bit more, at least in the production department. I was thinking that maybe the band were going with a little less Bohemian Rhapsody and a bit more Def Leppard. After a little consideration though, I can say that isn't the case. It's bravura opening is a slice off the album's closer Prince Charming, a reprise, maybe a pre-prise? Whatever, its intense guitar-nuttiness modulates all over the shop with a Van Halen-esque grin of pure joy on it's face. The first proper track, Footprints, is a quirky little love song, the most uncovincing part of which is that it tries to make me believe that vocalist Travis loves someone other than himself. Fortunately it's a very unhealthy kind of love: "I know she can't wait for me to die / But she can't help it when I know she tried / And that makes me feel special inside" he laments at the top of his lungs and an octave or so above what most blokes will ever achieve, all to the accompaniment of complex, Queen style rhythmic change-ups. Hard to dislike that. It also proves that the band, very fortunately, have at least part of their tongue in their cheek ... that came out wrong. What I'm trying to say is that they can tell a joke and, thankfully, no matter how virtuosic they are, they're a little jokey about what they do. It helps to take the edge off. Things get ever so slightly meatier on the next tune, Ratings, and there was no shortage of grist already, believe me. It's a little less arty and a little more straight up, balls-out, glam. There's nothing wrong with that, the boys do it with unbelievable energy, dexterity and it has a winning chorus, bam, done and done. Title track Ineffective Lullaby starts out like The Kicks' version of something quiet, piano-driven and introspective, which is to say it launches into a ridiculous rainbow of vocal harmony, heading for orbit while spraying bitchiness at all and sundry.
Stover is like a quieter and straight-up version of Footprints and is as close as you'll get to a gentle respite on this record. Last Person Alive digs back into Ineffective Lullabies' enduring themes of bitchiness and completely inauthentic personal reinventions, it sounds like Travis has something weighing on his mind, although I'm not quite sure who his sprays are directed at there are plenty of them. Maybe it's a glam thing? Prince Charming delivers on the promise of the thirty seconds we heard at the beginning, but really, what here doesn't? The Incredible Kicks gobsmack me. The ridiculous accomplishment of their sound and the fact that they're still trucking it here in Brisbane, almost seems like a contradiction in terms, everytime I run across them. Surely there must be a stadium free, somewhere to give them a gig or two? I'll just add it to the list of things that are bizarrely senseless about the music industry. They are The Incredible Kicks and yes, they are completely incredible.

- Chris Cobcroft.